switching

I'm all caught up on the Naruto manga and faced with the same dilemma I had with watching just the anime...I have to wait for a new chapter every week now ;_; On the bright side, at least there's another thing I have to look forward to every week. Or another thing that will drive me crazy with an insatiable thirst for knowing WHAT COMES NEXT. Such is the trouble with getting caught up in a series that hasn't concluded itself yet.

I'm told I look like Karin. I rather agree with that.
I have no rights to this picture. Masashi Kishimoto, please don't sue me.

I fear that I have been too lax and carelessly allowed my nerdy self to overstep its boundaries in real life. Confound you, Facebook mini-feed, for announcing to all and sundry my intention to attend the SC2 launch party (and for making it so complicated to keep certain things private)! I gave FB the benefit of my doubt and thought this little detail could have escaped notice until a friend posted on my wall, asking if I am indeed a SC fan. Not wanting to snub her, I proudly declared my allegiance to the Protoss race. Ah, the social complications of having "nerdy" interests...


J tells me that I should be proud of my "nerdy" tendencies and embrace it as a part of who I am. If only it were that simple...! Or perhaps I'm only making it complicated. But I feel like there really are a lot more social variables to deal with when flaunting "atypical" interests to people who may not necessarily enjoy them the way I do. For example, among my best friends, one can definitely appreciate "nerdy," while another one seems to be neutral, and another will tease me about that side of me if I allow it to come up in conversation. It's not a huge inconvenience to me, but I've learned to simply mute that side of me to avoid any comments when I'm with her. I can never be too sure that she's NOT tacitly judging me. lol That's my main issue with most girls...you can never say what you really mean for fear of the fallout.

On the other hand, I am usually inclined to pick gender-neutral names when I need to create IDs on the internet. Everyone is under the impression that it's overwhelmingly composed of males, but I'm sure a disproportionate amount of females comprise the online gaming community. Those who are like me and prefer to game incognito are probably thinking, a) "I don't want to get harassed, I get enough of that in real life," b) "If I reveal myself, I'd be considered an attention whore," c) "I want people to respect me for my awesome skillzzz," or a variant d) "I suck at this but I don't want them to think it's because I'm a girl."

Fortunately, my most recent experiences with divulging my gender online have not invited any unwanted attention. There are communities who can keep it polite, and maybe even (dare I say it?) chivalrous. It's strange to say it, but I keep my gender to myself out of a certain fear. An analogy may not be necessary, but it's like women who work in male-dominated environments. They're expected to exhibit traits that are considered masculine while preserving some air of femininity. It's such a fine line to walk that I'd rather just choose a side, and I've chosen male-ness.

At the end of the day, this blog is my safe haven to talk about this stuff as much as I want without the anxiety that comes with having to decipher the telling looks of un-like-minded friends. Bless the Internet and its anonymity, for better or worse!