aubergine

It hardly needs to be repeated, but ugh--YouTube is amazing. So much useful information at your disposal! Yeah, the same can be said about the Internet, but now you can imagine how awesome that must be. Anyway, I digress.

I was clicking through some Gordon Ramsay videos, and "aubergine caviar" caught my eye. What in the world is aubergine? I thought. So then I'm watching him give his introduction, and then he pulls out a freakin' eggplant. How anticlimactic. Leave it to the British to use a pompous word like "aubergine" for something that can plainly be called "eggplant." lol But I rather like it.

Eggplant will invariably remind me of one thing every time it comes up, and every time I can't resist telling the story to any poor soul who is willing to listen because it's nearly the stupidest thing in the world.

One silly night, three years ago, I was chatting online with The Woman and somehow we got on the topic of eggplant. I asserted that it looks pretty gross when it's cooked, at least in the ways I've seen it prepared, but also added a disclaimer about never having tried it so I can't speak for its taste. Something along the following lines ensued:

"Hey, you better watch what you say next time because eggplant happens to be one of my favorite foods."

"Well, you can say it's your favorite food, but I still think it looks gross."

This looks delicious to me now, but tell me it doesn't look a little like tentacles.

The argument starts to escalate after a little more back and forth as neither of us would yield. Then, as if trying to concede and put the whole thing behind us (read: make me shut up):

"I guess it's just because Americans aren't as exposed to eggplant dishes."

Bitch PLEASE. Cooked eggplant looks like slimy tentacles because I'm too "American"? lol So then we started arguing about the degree of my Americanization. There were tears, angry tears on my end. We didn't speak for a bit, I took a walk, then I called to apologize. Bleh! In retrospect, I almost wish that had ended the relationship. It really was that stupid.

But I had the last word several months later, oh yes. When he insisted that he had to talk to me in person and handed me 8 pages (some front and back) detailing my flaws, our problems, and away messages he didn't understand, I broke up with him and the poor fool cried. I know, I'm a bitch.