full circle

It's funny. Ever since they tried to put their moves on me, DfmB and Food Dude seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I wonder if it's just a coincidence or if they actually had a secret mission to get a date and failure to do so could only end in termination.

Whatever it was that happened, it's left things in a pretty sorry state at work now, with Boss as my only form of "entertainment." However, the company is throwing a holiday party, and it just so happens that it'll be held at the venue where I met Sketchy.

I thought the worse that could happen was running into him there, but the phone rang today and you'll never guess who called to hash out event details with me. The best part was when he did the verbal version of a double take. After asking me to repeat my name, recognition seemed to dawn on him in that split second of hesitation before he pointedly asked, "How are you?"

another player joins the game (but not really)

Everyday I get lunch for Boss at this place across the street from our building, and almost everyday I get helped by the same guy. When I show up, he already knows what I'm going to ask for even before I say it. He also seems to know that Boss is crazy and always gives me extra food to bring back (a sacrificial offering to appease the monster, methinks). Yup, he's pretty nice.

I started to suspect he might have a crush on me. However, I could identify no solid reasons for thinking this so I chalked it up to my imagination getting the better of me in the recent monotony of life at the office. I had dropped the issue until...


Food Dude: You're dressed different today.

S: Oh, because I'm more casual?

Food Dude: *pause* More pretty.

S: Aw haha, it's because I ran out of clothes.

Food Dude: You ran out of clothes? Don't tease me like that.

S: ...haha! I meant I ran out of suits to wear!

And then I ran out of there.


At least he's not creepy like DfmB. Apparently, flirtation is slightly more effective than the charge-in-with-a-boner approach.

oh, the horror!

It's been confirmed. DfmB is a total sleaze.

I was walking along my break route and staring at my phone again, hoping to slip by undetected. No such luck as I glanced up and he was standing right there, waiting for my approach. Creepy, no? And then an even creepier conversation ensued. A couple of snippets:

DfmB: So do you have kids?

S: Um, no. Kind of a personal question there, don't you think?

DfmB: Oh, how much do you weigh? Like 125?

S: ...haha, you're not supposed to ask that. Are you a rapist?

DfmB: Well, I wouldn't have asked if you were big but you're small.

S: Um, yeah, around there. Why did I respond?

DfmB: Oh, I can pick you up with one arm.

S: ...oh really. Please don't.


DfmB: So you have a boyfriend huh? Three years?

S: Yeah, more like three and a half now. Taken taken taken!

DfmB: Oh, lucky guy. *awkward pause* So can I have your number?

S: Didn't you hear what I just said? Uhhh...I don't think...

DfmB: 'Cause I get the feeling you wanna hook up, or are you just really friendly?

S: ?!?!? Um, I'm just really friendly.

DfmB: Well, you're really beautiful. You're not like other girls, you don't dress provocatively and you don't wear a lot of makeup.

S: But you thought a girl like that would go and cheat on her boyfriend? Thank you, that's sweet of you to say.

DfmB: Let me know if things don't work out.

S: Mmkay. No way in hell.


That uncomfortable exchange had me wondering whether I had said something to lead him on. But looking back on it, no normal person would've deduced that there was even any possibility of mutual attraction had they seen how immovably my arms remained folded over my chest and the way I was giving more eye contact to my phone than to him for the duration of our conversation.

Still, I should have been more direct and told him that crap was inappropriate. I have to stop being so damn chirpy.

Now if you'll excuse me, nothing short of a vigorous scrubbing session will rid me of the residual slime from that encounter, and I fully intend to indulge myself. And unless I find a new break route, I'll have to see him again tomorrow. Ugh.

good try

It's no secret that I'm kind of clumsy when it comes to guys. The following encounter was no exception to that rule.

Pretend you're texting someone, don't look up, oh no he's coming this way!

Dude from my building: Hey, I always see you around but I don't even know your name.

Me: Oh, my name's Scarlet. Please don't do what I think you're going to do, please.

DfmB: Scarlet? I'm DfyB.

Me: Nice to finally meet you, DfmB. (Then, by sheer force of habit, I offered my hand to him for a handshake. Nooo, I can assure you, it wasn't out of place at all...)

DfmB: Listen, I think you're very beautiful. I can tell you're not like other girls. Are you seeing anyone right now?

Me: Smile, laugh, keep smiling. Yeeeah, I am. For about three years now.

DfmB: Wow, three years? You guys are gonna guy married!

Me: Haha well, I don't know about thaaat. Stupid, he gave you the perfect opening, you should've gone along with it!

He said some more nice things at this point and may have asked me to talk to him if I ever happened to find myself single, but I was so caught up in attempting to make a hasty escape that I honestly can't remember exactly what was said beyond that.

So as you can see, I can barely deal with guys with mediocre game. I'd hate to imagine what would happen if a guy with good game ever tried to disarm me.

dodged a bullet

Meeting up with The Woman today reaffirmed my belief that cutting him loose was one of the best decisions I've ever made. (And choosing to date him was one of the worst, clearly.)

Still condescending, still critical, still selfish.

It's funny that at one point in my life, he was actually someone special to me. After the breakup, it felt like that part of my life never even existed. Now we're suddenly on speaking terms again and I can't remember whether he was like this before or if his personality's just taken a turn for the worse during the years that have elapsed.

unexpected

The Woman of yore has recently gotten back in touch with me.

What is the meaning of this?

comic con

My long-time friend, Sweet Talker, invited me out to Comic Con in Anaheim this weekend and I decided to accept since I had never been. I was pretty excited, even though I figured it wouldn't be anywhere near the scale of San Diego's Comic Con. Oh well, you gotta start somewhere.

I saw cute things!

The only person I really wanted to see was Tricia Helfer, but when she finally appeared it turned out that she was only doing autographs...at $30 each. They were doing a photo op later that day and probably charging an equally obscene amount. And I probably would've been willing to pay, but then again...losing monies to juxtapose myself with her? My ego said no thanks.

I did, however, manage to snap a stealthy photo when nobody was looking. Creepy, no?

After having satisfied my fangirl imperative, I obliged ST's need for food and together we trekked over to Mimi's Cafe to grab a bite to eat. This place garnered good reviews on Yelp, so it seemed like a good time to try it out. I absolutely looove spinach and artichoke dip and once I saw that it was a menu item, I already knew what I was going to order.

I love when it's served with bread instead of chips!

The dip was rich and full of flavor, which went quite well with the crispy, garlic-y goodness of the bread. We also split a bottle of white wine and being the lightweight that I am, two (or was it three?) glasses were more than enough to put me in a good place for the rest of the afternoon.

We went back to the convention and walked around a while longer but left shortly thereafter in search of ice cream. It was such a nice day outside that it would've been a crime NOT to get some frozen treats. A quick search on Yelp turned up a place nearby called Joe's Italian Ice. Apparently their specialty is --you guessed it--Italian ice. Behold...!

ST's strawberry Joe Latti and my mocha almond fudge ice cream

The Joe Latti is Italian ice layered with soft-serve ice cream and is freakin' delicious. If you're in the area, I definitely recommend giving it a try!

So passed a pleasant day of eating and talking, but now I've found myself in a bit of a bind. You see, I've been friends with ST for quite a number of years and while I do enjoy his company, I'm afraid he enjoys mine in a different way. A part of me wonders whether he's just biding his time until I happen upon singlehood again and hoping that he can be the one to swoop in and pick up the pieces...

Perhaps I should just tell him I'm a lesbian and be done with it. You think he'd buy that?

motherly concern

M: "Why does he always want to hang out with you?"

S: "I don't know, we've been friends for a long time, I guess."

M: "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

S: "Yeah."

M: "Won't she want to kick your ass?"

S: "I'll kick her ass right back!"

Sometimes I manage to glean enough amusement from these conversations to override my exasperation.

clouded

What the hell is wrong with the weather? I've lost count of how many times it's jumped from hot and sunny one week to cold and rainy the next in the last two months. What a waste of the first night of a three-day weekend.

I'm going to sip on a glass of wine, indulge in chocolate cake, and read a book while the rain has its way outside. J's flowers are so fragrant, they're a natural air freshener for my room. I'm crushing on Sam Tsui and his beautiful voice. (And there's something about a guy who can play the piano...or almost any other type of instrument, for that matter.)

Wow, sensory overload. My mind is all over the place. Maybe I'm not fit to be writing right now.

Sketchy is trying to reenter the picture, but his odds are...sketchy at best.

oh, the irony

After some back-and-forth logistic planning, Sketchy and I settled on meeting up for drinks. It was only upon his request that I conceded to doing it at the time I normally wake up (you can be certain that I was none too pleased about this). But I picked the place so I gave him a time that worked for him. Very kind of me, I know.

I arrived 25 minutes early so I ordered a drink and sat down with my book to pass the time. 40 minutes passed and I was still waiting. No problem, maybe he's stuck in traffic.

S: Gonna be late?
Him: Oh shit...We should have made it later...Im sorry. Do you have plans the rest of the day?

Um...WHAT?

S: Lol you're fucking kidding me, I made it earlier because you wanted it earlier. Yeah I have plans.
Him: Lol Yeah. Im an asshole now...
S: Yep.

Well, that's the end of that chapter.

for the record, my heart is sore

Some recent developments:

• Boss seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder today because of my resentful attitude yesterday. Despite how much more peaceful it was this way, it really stunted productivity as most assignments have to go through Boss before they can be completed. This, in the end, will probably fuck me over.
  
• I am seriously contemplating moving to China even though I have yet to secure a job there. (At this point I think the only things holding me back are thoughts about how my family might react and my innate tendency to resist huge changes like this.)
  
• I never imagined I could miss someone as much as I do right now.
• Sketchy has not asked for my number even once since we met. Instead, he has tried to drop me hints, like casually giving me his number so that I might casually text him one day. It's become a little game in my head, to see how long I could keep it from him. And not out of malice, by the way. I'm just...stubborn :) But yes, dude has gotten impatient enough to tell me that I should text him soon. I still haven't decided what to do.

It's been a bit of a rough week. I'm attributing my hypersensitivity to my period's impending arrival. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

coffee & conquest

Sketchy had renewed his request to hang out for the third time after our initial meeting. My magnanimous spirit took over long enough for me to set up a potential place and time, but here I am, still waiting to hear back from him. I don't pretend to understand the unresponsiveness where a simple yes or no would've sufficed (there's no excuse--I know he read the message), so maybe that's where my mild annoyance is coming from. Possibly afternoon coffee wasn't what he had in mind?

The situation with Older Man #2 is trending in the same direction. I was half-facetiously telling J that I've made him my conquest because of it. Note that this course of action isn't very typical of me...only when I have a pretty good feeling that they're just in it for the sex. Because when you're still happily single at 40, what else are you looking for?

lull

Life has been supremely boring lately and while I do enjoy a bout of smooth sailing, I think it's high time I get back on the crazy train. Problem is, I never want to do anything when it's raining and it's rained for like, three-quarters of December.

So my newly acquired indoor hobby is perusing Reddit...more specifically, the pages of a subreddit on seduction and my oh my, is it fascinating. It never occurred to me that men would look at the game of seduction so methodically. Now, is it silly to wonder whether there's a similar subreddit with some more female representation? The norm is that guys are the ones who do the chasing and girls should just wait to be pursued. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd even go so far to say that in most cases guys don't even need to be seduced because they'll rarely say no to a girl, provided she's decently attractive. Anyway, bottom line is, I'm intrigued by the game now but I don't really know how a female's methodical approach should look since I've always just relied on my instincts.

Enter older man #2, who is the one to initiate and I find it to be the perfect opportunity for some experimentation. As J put it, the goal is to "toy with him" and see how far he'd take it. However, the situation is slightly complicated by some sticky details.

Not only did I meet this guy through work, but he's also related to one of Boss's colleagues. He's also old enough to be my young father...kind of like the first guy who tried. But the difference with this guy is, he was one of the more attractive people at the event at which we met. It may be why I didn't immediately reject his advances the moment I detected flirtation...who doesn't like getting their egos stroked once in a while?

This may very well end up being one of my many bad decisions, but it's been pretty entertaining so far. (Obviously that trumps all else.) Except I think I blew it by being too detached. I guess he went out on a limb to put the ball in my court but all I did was pass it back to him. He didn't take too well to that as he ended the conversation right after he got my response. LOL. And damn it, that shit bothers me. I wonder if that's part of the female reaction or if it's just the Scarlet reaction.

On the bright side, at least my march into professional suicide has been slowed...for the time being.

questionable motives

Sketchy invited me to watch movies with him at work the other night. Up until now, I thought maybe he just needed some friends in this lonely city. That could still be his motive, but now it seems equally likely that he's trying to make something happen. Who knows? I didn't go.

b-bomb

The boyfriend bomb got dropped on the nice-man-old-enough-to-be-my-young-father at long last. After a week of indecisive back-and-forth texting, I finally found the heart and opportunity to let slip my status of "happily taken." I could've easily taken a direct approach and told him that I'm flattered but not interested. Even though he never explicitly said he wanted to date me. But I don't like the idea of embarrassing either of us in the off-chance that those weren't his intentions at all, so I thought the most graceful way of resolving the situation was something I like to call the boyfriend bomb.

It needn't be said that you have to be artful when resorting to this method, otherwise it defeats the purpose of being roundabout in the first place.

Awkward
Him: What do you like to do in your free time?
Her: Sorry, I have a boyfriend so I shouldn't be talking to you anymore.
Him: Uhh, no offense but I'm not even interested in you that way.

Not as awkward
Him: What do you like to do in your free time?
Her: I like to watch movies with my boyfriend.
Him: Oh, that's cool. See you around then.

See, all you have to do is casually slip "my boyfriend" into your response so that you give him the information he needs to know without making it painfully obvious that you're actually telling him to fuck off. It gives him time to process the implications of the situation without embarrassing either of you upfront. Here's an example of what NOT to do.

Anyway, after the bomb was dropped, I never heard back from him. I guess random people you meet at events never want to be just friends.

he might be shady, but then again so am i

I'm getting the vibe that the stranger who asked me out might be kinda sketchy. You might ask, "Well, if he's so sketchy, why don't you just stop talking to him?" Ah, but that would strip my already-boring life of a potential source of entertainment. I guess that makes me pretty sketchy myself. Shhh.

I went to look him up on the social networking sites that I use and managed to find him through one of them. What intrigued me about the situation was his "in a relationship" status and how he immediately changed his profile after I friended him so that the status was nowhere to be found. Then he told me that it was difficult for him to get back on because he hadn't been on in a long time. Riiight. So here he is, telling me that he just happened to check his page on the very same day that I added him, and then conveniently removed his relationship status. Maybe this social website notifies you via email when you get requests and I'm just being a super skeptic. Or maybe he's sketchy. Let us see what happens next...

too nice to say no

If my weekend activities have taught me anything, it's that I'm painfully awkward and altogether too nice to say no when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. Apparently, males and females interpret friendliness quite differently...I should've known that too. Blah!

Now the nice man who is probably old enough to be my young father seems to be interested in more than a platonic, professional relationship. The whole thing is a little reminiscent of Memoirs of a Geisha to me, except the part where I'm secretly in love with him and want him to have my babies. Which is to say, this is nothing like the book but I can't think of another example off the top of my head so Sayuri and her chairman will have to do.

Even when it started becoming more clear what his true intentions were, I wasn't able to bring myself to set him straight. Gee, I wonder how this'll pan out...

awkward doesn't even come close to describing this

I spent last night getting hotboxed by BFF and The Asshole, getting hit on by a really-nice-but-not-my-type guy, and drinking much too lightly.

How did The Asshole become part of last night's plans in the first place? Well, I had already guessed BFF would want to hit him up so was prepared to see him. She asked how I felt about it and only called after I said it was fine. He was surprised to see me. We didn't talk much to each other the entire time but I enjoyed calling him fat once or twice. I feel kind of bad for his nickname now because he was pretty nice to me, but meh. I might change it in the future if this behavior is consistent.

BFF also invited a friend X that we didn't know who brought his friend Y along. Y and I were the only ones not smoking while the others puffed away at their cigs so we ended up talking to each other for most of the night. I suspected where the conversation was headed when he asked if I wanted to go inside and leave the smokers in the patio, but I couldn't be sure until he said more. Over the next twenty minutes, he gave me ample opportunity to tell him I had a boyfriend as he kept pressing me for details about how I spent my free time. I should've dropped the boyfriend bomb then but instead told him about job apps, reading, and gaming. He seemed to take a liking to that last detail because his face lit up and I mentally facepalmed after I said it.

My dumbass didn't choose those moments to tell him about J. No, I let the chance pass by and conversation moved on to other things. What happened next is almost too excruciating for me to even type out. When topics were exhausted, I tactlessly blurted out, "I should tell you that I have a boyfriend." But it was even worse than that, much choppier and bungled than I want to recall. And I kid you not, his eyes actually bulged and he looked stunned for a few seconds. I wanted to shoot myself. He recovered after a couple minutes and graciously continued talking to me, even asking about how things with J were going. We had lots of things in common, but I just wasn't feeling it. Not that I'm even looking anyway.

It was a good time overall, but I'm convinced I wouldn't have committed such a blunder had I only put down some more "social lubricant." I've made a mental note of it for next time.