full circle

It's funny. Ever since they tried to put their moves on me, DfmB and Food Dude seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I wonder if it's just a coincidence or if they actually had a secret mission to get a date and failure to do so could only end in termination.

Whatever it was that happened, it's left things in a pretty sorry state at work now, with Boss as my only form of "entertainment." However, the company is throwing a holiday party, and it just so happens that it'll be held at the venue where I met Sketchy.

I thought the worse that could happen was running into him there, but the phone rang today and you'll never guess who called to hash out event details with me. The best part was when he did the verbal version of a double take. After asking me to repeat my name, recognition seemed to dawn on him in that split second of hesitation before he pointedly asked, "How are you?"

another player joins the game (but not really)

Everyday I get lunch for Boss at this place across the street from our building, and almost everyday I get helped by the same guy. When I show up, he already knows what I'm going to ask for even before I say it. He also seems to know that Boss is crazy and always gives me extra food to bring back (a sacrificial offering to appease the monster, methinks). Yup, he's pretty nice.

I started to suspect he might have a crush on me. However, I could identify no solid reasons for thinking this so I chalked it up to my imagination getting the better of me in the recent monotony of life at the office. I had dropped the issue until...


Food Dude: You're dressed different today.

S: Oh, because I'm more casual?

Food Dude: *pause* More pretty.

S: Aw haha, it's because I ran out of clothes.

Food Dude: You ran out of clothes? Don't tease me like that.

S: ...haha! I meant I ran out of suits to wear!

And then I ran out of there.


At least he's not creepy like DfmB. Apparently, flirtation is slightly more effective than the charge-in-with-a-boner approach.

haiku

Very fine frown lines,

I suddenly noticed them,

Etches on my face.

I WONDER WHAT WHO COULD HAVE INDUCED THEIR PREMATURE APPEARANCE.

Time to stock up on the best smoothing serums and anti-wrinkle creams that money can buy.

Fuck.

pseudo-alcoholic

This job is turning me into one.

For the past few weeks, every time I've had a bad day at work, I've come home wanting nothing more than a stiff drink.

But I've only given in to those urges on weekends.

I also heard through the pathetically sparse grapevine that Boss is thinking about promoting me since another coworker is preparing to leave. Little does Boss know, I don't plan on staying past 2011.

MAKE ME STICK TO THIS PLAN.

good try

It's no secret that I'm kind of clumsy when it comes to guys. The following encounter was no exception to that rule.

Pretend you're texting someone, don't look up, oh no he's coming this way!

Dude from my building: Hey, I always see you around but I don't even know your name.

Me: Oh, my name's Scarlet. Please don't do what I think you're going to do, please.

DfmB: Scarlet? I'm DfyB.

Me: Nice to finally meet you, DfmB. (Then, by sheer force of habit, I offered my hand to him for a handshake. Nooo, I can assure you, it wasn't out of place at all...)

DfmB: Listen, I think you're very beautiful. I can tell you're not like other girls. Are you seeing anyone right now?

Me: Smile, laugh, keep smiling. Yeeeah, I am. For about three years now.

DfmB: Wow, three years? You guys are gonna guy married!

Me: Haha well, I don't know about thaaat. Stupid, he gave you the perfect opening, you should've gone along with it!

He said some more nice things at this point and may have asked me to talk to him if I ever happened to find myself single, but I was so caught up in attempting to make a hasty escape that I honestly can't remember exactly what was said beyond that.

So as you can see, I can barely deal with guys with mediocre game. I'd hate to imagine what would happen if a guy with good game ever tried to disarm me.

dodged a bullet

Meeting up with The Woman today reaffirmed my belief that cutting him loose was one of the best decisions I've ever made. (And choosing to date him was one of the worst, clearly.)

Still condescending, still critical, still selfish.

It's funny that at one point in my life, he was actually someone special to me. After the breakup, it felt like that part of my life never even existed. Now we're suddenly on speaking terms again and I can't remember whether he was like this before or if his personality's just taken a turn for the worse during the years that have elapsed.

unexpected

The Woman of yore has recently gotten back in touch with me.

What is the meaning of this?

motherly concern

M: "Why does he always want to hang out with you?"

S: "I don't know, we've been friends for a long time, I guess."

M: "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

S: "Yeah."

M: "Won't she want to kick your ass?"

S: "I'll kick her ass right back!"

Sometimes I manage to glean enough amusement from these conversations to override my exasperation.

herpes...wut?

I paid a visit to the gynecologist today. As if I wasn't feeling sheepish enough, sitting there in my sans pants glory and mentally preparing myself for the unpleasantness that was about to besiege my lady bits, she took one look at my file and proceeded to reprimand me for not coming back to see her in nearly four years. Oops.

Before she went to work, I made sure to voice my concerns about possibly having a condition called vaginismus. She listened to my complaint but only asked me one question before she made her decision, which made me question how much store I should put by her prescribed line of action.

"I'm going to send you to the lab to test for herpes."

"Okay."

Wait, what?

"Would...would it have been contracted from someone else...?" I asked dumbly. She nodded.

Well, there must be a mistake. "I've only had one partner, and he's never had any partners except me..." I tried to argue.

But she sent me to the lab anyway. (This ended up inviting many questions from my mother. Why she insisted on coming with me to my appointment is beyond me and, quite frankly, really awkward. The last thing I needed was to come up with an explanation for why I needed my blood drawn while simultaneously trying to hide the implications of the test. You see, my relationship with J isn't exactly out in the open...)

Presently all I can say is, how can this even be? I was as un-promiscuous as college students could come (haha, "come"). Instead of getting some answers, I'm left more confused than ever and for the next three weeks I will be worried (needlessly, I hope) about possibly having contracted an incurable STD.

Isn't that just dandy?

this again

Mom: These beauty queens aren't even that beautiful.
S: Yeah, even I'm hotter than them.
M: But your skin's not good. Let me take you to get it fixed!
S: No!
M: All the boys will be fighting over you afterward!
S: They already are.

advice for the klutzy

1. Slip and fall in public
2. Curse quietly
3. Get up quickly
4. Make sure nobody was looking
5. Check for injuries only after ducking safely out of sight

I think we can all agree that when you straight up fall on your ass in public, the first thing to check for isn't whether you just narrowly escaped a mild concussion or a fractured tailbone...but that nobody saw it happen.

Damn it, don't try crossing cobblestones in dress shoes or your left butt cheek will be sore for the next three days.

musical palette

For a brief time, I thought I had sound-color synesthesia. Certain songs would sound like a certain color. Or they would make me feel a certain color, if that makes sense. But then I realized that most of the songs that were producing this effect in my mind were only pink or orange, and on top of that, I don't really "see" the colors in my mind so much as I "feel" them. I suppose I just make strong associations. So now, unless you can tell me this can also qualifies me as a synesthete, I've given up thinking I was cool.

A pink song:

An orange song:

twenty eleven

The holidays flew by this year--an unfortunate side effect of no longer having actual vacation time to celebrate and laze about. My new year's eve, though low-key, was still enjoyable. The company was good and my sobriety had decidedly dissipated by 9:30pm, but the only action I got this year came from the BFF as we spontaneously decided to reprise our kiss from three years ago. It didn't even happen at midnight, but that tiny detail was smoothed over by more alcohol. Fortunately for me, this one wasn't as well-documented as the last.

Now time for a confession! Naturally, I briefly questioned my sexual orientation because of that alcohol-induced episode three years ago, and I thought I had laid my doubts to rest once and for all after a bit of soul-searching, but some conversations with M lately have made them resurface. Thanks a lot, M. What am I supposed to do with this?!

I'm not sure I'm quite ready to deal with the implications of being bisexual. Even if I am, I'd rather keep dealing with guys exclusively. Can you imagine how much more dramatic life would get if I brought more estrogen into the mix?

An interesting way to start 2011 indeed. Happy New Year!

i put on my robe and wizard hat

The effects of involuntary celibacy are beginning to take hold. My subconscious is up to its old tricks again and has been coming up with all sorts of taboo things which have been surfacing in Dream World. Believe me when I say this has never happened before, but my mind decided to play its own little fan fiction for my viewing pleasure, setting the dream in...Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Complete with a pleated skirt, wizard robes, invisibility cloak and a magic wand of a different sort.

It's only been a month since J left. ??? more to go. FUUUUUUU.

random updates

The Older Man called in at work yesterday to inquire about something that we owed him. I thanked my lucky stars that he didn't hear me announce my name when I answered the call, thus avoiding much potential awkwardness...at least for him.

Also, I realized I never updated about Aunt Flo's status. It turns out that her indecisiveness was due to peer pressure from everyone else's aunts, who insisted that she wait for them before coming to town...the unfortunate consequence of spending 9 hours a day with a bunch of females.

genders

I went out to dinner with my extended family the other day and because I had just gotten off work, I was still wearing my suit. I was playing with my little cousin and asked him to be careful since it would've been a pain to get a stain out of those clothes. Then he flashed me a mischievous grin and said, "You look like a man." Hmm, thaaanks.

Not sure how else to respond, I repeated his statement. "I look like a man?"

"Kind of. Because of your clothes."

"Ohhhhh. That's not a very nice thing to say :P"

"Well, because of these things," he tried to elaborate, patting the slightly-padded shoulder of my blazer.

Maybe it had more to do with the stern black color of the suit than its actual silhouette...

I also asked him whether he's a man or a woman, and he responded, "A woman." When I second-guessed his answer, he immediately burst into giddy laughter.

trick or treat

Too old for it? I think not!

Will let you know how successful it is. With four days left, I neither have a costume idea nor the materials to make one should inspiration strike. Also need to work on procuring a small child to take along. You know, to offset the shadiness of a 20-something-year-old in costume and trick-or-treating. Although I guess it's not half as shady as a grown man in the same position.

teeheehee

I got way too excited when I heard that a SC2 launch party is going to be hosted at Harvey Mudd College on the 26th. And then I took my giddiness to whole new levels of ridiculous when, after some persuasion from J, I sent a Facebook message to the host, who happens to be a top American player, inquiring about logistics and received a response in which he not only answered my questions but also insisted that he has met me in real life before because he recognized my name and face. This was quite plausible because a) I was attending another one of the Claremont Colleges while he was still there and b) I was not into the SC pro-gaming scene so I could have met him and forgotten about him, ignorant as I was at the time. So anyway, he sent me a friend request, which I happily confirmed before proceeding to bask in the dizzying afterglow of my fanaticism.

THE END.

Exhibit A shows what I DON'T look like even while in fangirl mode.

late night chats

IMing over skype with a male friend

[1:14:05 AM] AS: haha i would love to see [J] do a skype strip tease
[1:14:09 AM] me: LOL
[1:14:14 AM] me: i bet he'd do it for you if you asked him nicely =P
[1:14:57 AM] AS: mmm...
[1:15:19 AM] me: actually, he flashed me some nipples just earlier today
[1:15:41 AM] me: go on, all you have to do is ask
[1:15:42 AM] me: hahaha
[1:16:35 AM] AS: i remember [J] has generously sized nipples
[1:16:40 AM] AS: he and ansel are xiangfan de
[1:16:41 AM] me: HAHAHAHA
[1:17:27 AM] me: i see you're quite familiar with both sets of nipples
[1:17:47 AM] AS: i certainly toook a mental note
[1:17:52 AM] AS: but i do that with all nipples
[1:18:07 AM] AS: i can describe all my victims nipples in excruciating detail

"xiangfan de" or 相反的 is Chinese for "opposite" :P

lol wat?

bro: hey hey
bro: do you want alcohol? haha
me: lol omgosh
me: why
me: what kind

Even though I'm old enough to buy alcohol and he's not. Haha I'm pretty shameless.

me: i'm going to get you wasted when you come back
bro: haha
bro: what the?!

Why does he sound so surprised? HE just offered ME alcohol, so I was only trying to return the gesture...