awkward doesn't even come close to describing this

I spent last night getting hotboxed by BFF and The Asshole, getting hit on by a really-nice-but-not-my-type guy, and drinking much too lightly.

How did The Asshole become part of last night's plans in the first place? Well, I had already guessed BFF would want to hit him up so was prepared to see him. She asked how I felt about it and only called after I said it was fine. He was surprised to see me. We didn't talk much to each other the entire time but I enjoyed calling him fat once or twice. I feel kind of bad for his nickname now because he was pretty nice to me, but meh. I might change it in the future if this behavior is consistent.

BFF also invited a friend X that we didn't know who brought his friend Y along. Y and I were the only ones not smoking while the others puffed away at their cigs so we ended up talking to each other for most of the night. I suspected where the conversation was headed when he asked if I wanted to go inside and leave the smokers in the patio, but I couldn't be sure until he said more. Over the next twenty minutes, he gave me ample opportunity to tell him I had a boyfriend as he kept pressing me for details about how I spent my free time. I should've dropped the boyfriend bomb then but instead told him about job apps, reading, and gaming. He seemed to take a liking to that last detail because his face lit up and I mentally facepalmed after I said it.

My dumbass didn't choose those moments to tell him about J. No, I let the chance pass by and conversation moved on to other things. What happened next is almost too excruciating for me to even type out. When topics were exhausted, I tactlessly blurted out, "I should tell you that I have a boyfriend." But it was even worse than that, much choppier and bungled than I want to recall. And I kid you not, his eyes actually bulged and he looked stunned for a few seconds. I wanted to shoot myself. He recovered after a couple minutes and graciously continued talking to me, even asking about how things with J were going. We had lots of things in common, but I just wasn't feeling it. Not that I'm even looking anyway.

It was a good time overall, but I'm convinced I wouldn't have committed such a blunder had I only put down some more "social lubricant." I've made a mental note of it for next time.