GERD

I always knew I had indigestion problems but I stubbornly refused to get diagnosed until J finally made me do it. Student Health told me it was GERD, which confirmed what I kind of already suspected. They gave me a prescription for ranitidine, which was supposed to make my stomach produce less acid than usual. They also told me to avoid spicy foods, caffeine, alcohol and chocolate (i.e., happiness), among other things. They might as well have killed me on the spot. I was already on a self-imposed diet that excluded any coffee, eggs, greasy foods, and beef. My life was devoid of any palatable excitement for a while, but the meds only worked for two weeks before I became immune to it. So I said screw it and started eating/drinking whatever the hell I wanted again...

And that brings me to last night, which gave me the worst case of acid reflux ever because of my gluttonous consumption of too much BBQ and chocolate cake at Leigh's house. Over the years, I've discovered some tricks to alleviate the pain and even make it go away faster. But last night, no matter what I did, it kept burning and burning even when I tried to escape into dreamland. Lying on my left side, which is usually my last resort when I can't stand the pain anymore, also failed me and I couldn't help but picture a small hole being burned into my poor esophagus.

Sleep finally saved me from my suffering, but my stomach's going to feel sore for a day or two while it recovers from the burns. It's the price I pay for wanting delicious food.

Don't let GERD happen to YOU. Not that you can really prevent it, but you can preempt it on a case-by-case basis by using my left side trick ;D 99% of the time, it works every time.