On Monday, I went out to lunch with my parents. It was blazing hot outside, and I had spent the previous night being way too bloated and cramping away, which left me in a foul mood even after I woke up. As bad luck would have it, it was during our wait for a table when Aunt Flo came knocking and despite my best efforts I couldn't keep her at bay. Fortunately for me, we got seated quickly and I made a beeline for the ladies' room.
The moment my ass hit the seat, before I even had time to react to the awful mess Aunt Flo trekked in on the welcome mat, I heard someone trying to open the restroom door. Ignoring it, I went to town trying to scrub out the mess and gave myself a pat on the back for having the forethought to wear black panties. The woman outside tried the knob again, which was slightly alarming because I didn't want a repeat of the beach incident. I muttered a curse and tried to work faster, but only sullied my fingers in my haste.
Again, she was at the knob. I was getting frantic. I imagined the persistent woman going out to ask the manager for a key, unlocking the door from the outside and walking in on me in all my half-naked, bloody-handed glory. How mortifying that would be! In frustration, I finally called out to indicate that the room was indeed occupied. Fishing a pad out of my purse was harder than it should've been as I was slowed by my stained fingers.
After what seemed like forever, I managed to extract my cottony savior and get it in place before the woman was at the door again. I shouted, louder this time, that someone was using the room. After finishing off and washing my hands, I jerked open the door with a scowl on my face, ready to stare down whoever the hell it was who couldn't control herself for three minutes so that I could handle my emergency in peace. It was a 50-something-year-old Asian woman and I caught her just as she finished opening the door to the MEN'S room. She only laughed when she saw me come out and I was only able to stay mildly irritated at her. Ugh.
Public restrooms are such a pain.
No comments:
Post a Comment