domestication

So it seems that many of my friends from middle school and high school are getting pregnant and/or married. It's strange to think that people I once went to school with have decided to start families already. To be honest, I can't even begin to fathom what that would be like. I have long moved beyond the legal age of consent, but I definitely don't have the mental or emotional maturity to be a parent yet. In fact, I don't think I could ever grow up enough in that regard. I can barely handle my potty-trained 6-year-old cousin for more than fifteen minutes at a time, let alone a wailing baby whose constant needs would be more than I could handle (because they'd have to be put above my own. lol!) I'm still in the midst of an (almost) quarter-life crisis, trying to figure out what I want to achieve in the next five years, and making a mini part-me isn't on the list. Not that starting a family at this age is necessarily a bad thing, but in my case a guaranteed ass-kicking from my parents is a pretty good deterrent.

I don't think J's parents are too keen on having a grandchild on their hands either, but it doesn't seem like that has stopped them from thinking about marriage. (What the hell?) His mom asks me questions that make it sound like she's screening for a future daughter-in-law. They sound really innocuous on the surface, but I just know she's testing me. "Do you cook at home? What kind of dishes do you cook? Have you found a job yet? Can you take J shopping for new clothes? You should tell J to get a haircut, he doesn't listen to me." And when I'm not around, "J, does Scarlet treat you well? Does she know how to clean? If she wants to do the dishes, just let her do them." Don't get me wrong, she's very nice to me whenever I visit. But it gets tiring when I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around someone, you know?

The best scene played out in a car ride with his parents, sister, and grandparents while we were on the way home from dinner. His grandma, this cute little woman with cropped gray hair, turns to me and says, "So Scarlet, are you religious?" I knew my answer could be damaging, but there was no way out of it. "Um, no." I might have tried to salvage the situation by throwing in the fact that my family is sort of religious, but that might have made it worse and an uncomfortable silence followed anyway. Someone said something after that, but I don't remember what because I was having a meltdown inside.

Inexplicably, his family still likes me. I guess I'm just that awesome :3

P.S. Blasting trance and blogging in your underwear when you're home alone is a winning combination.