updates long overdue

I know, I know. It's been AGES since I last posted. Never mind that my being back stopped being true almost immediately...which is why I won't make any promises about sticking around this time.

So what have I been up to for the past year? Well, if you haven't already guessed it, I finally managed to escape from the clutches of Boss and launched myself into...the black abyss of unemployment. Luckily, that state was only temporary, but so was the arrangement that landed me in San Diego for six months. It's okay though, because, although short-lived, it meant I got to be closer to J and had the chance to move towards a career change.

Now I'm back in LA as a full-time student (once again) and in the clutches of another potentially crazy employer (once again), to hear the way my new coworkers tell it. At least that'll guarantee a constant stream of blogging material, eh? And just to keep adding to the parallelism, J is moving to DC for law school in less than two months. Fuck me, right?

But seriously, aside from some hiccups, life's been pretty swell. I've learned so much in the time I spent away from home, and I'm grateful for all the wonderful people I've met and enriching experiences I've had since then. On that note, I leave you with my feel-good song from the past few days:

"The Queen" by Lady Gaga

breathtaking

Sailor Lake, Sierra Nevada Mountains, California

Photo by unknown

 Southern Oregon Coast

Photo by Jesse Estes

 Maelstrom in Kauai, Hawaii

Photo by PatrickSmithPhotography

i'm baaack

I wish I had a compelling reason for the lack of updates, but I don't. A stubborn case of the winter doldrums just had me really down for a while, and no amount of food or holiday cheer could bring me out of it. But now that it's still bright outside by the time I get off work and the second season of Game of Thrones is in full swing and J IS BACK IN THE COUNTRY, I find that there isn't much to be down about these days. However...

I am still as much of a doormat as I was three months ago. Yes, I'm STILL toiling away at the same job, but in my defense, the quality of the work environment has shown a marked improvement since I turned in my resignation. At one point, Boss's behavior was even bordering on saccharine. I remain skeptical about the sincerity behind this treatment, but it seems like Boss may finally be catching on to the fact that people value their eardrums and tend to harbor less resentment when things are asked and not demanded of them.

Though progress is being made on that front, we haven't had much luck in finding a replacement for me. We have interviewed some candidates for my position, but it seems the forces are working against Boss (or me?) as none of them have accepted the job despite it being offered to each and every one of them. They must've sensed that something was amiss. I think most people would when a prospective employer's loquaciousness drags out a first interview for four grueling hours. (For the record, I had the (mis)fortune of interviewing with someone else when I was hired.)

So when will I ever leave this accursed position, you ask? Well, I'm aiming to leave by the end of May. Seriously this time. After all, the velvety beaches of San Diego await me for Memorial Day weekend...

the end is near

I finally turned in my letter of resignation. Being the magnanimous person that I am, I gave four weeks' notice. This would have been ample time at any other company. But remember, mine is not your typical company where a resignation goes unquestioned. No, there is MANIPULATION at work here!

Boss tried to convince me to stay triple that time because "losing so many staff at the same time would be too crazy." Well, is that really my fault? But being the stupid person that I am, I will probably stay for two more months. Ugh, somebody slap me.

heaven is a place on earth with you

"Video Games" by Lana Del Rey

full circle

It's funny. Ever since they tried to put their moves on me, DfmB and Food Dude seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I wonder if it's just a coincidence or if they actually had a secret mission to get a date and failure to do so could only end in termination.

Whatever it was that happened, it's left things in a pretty sorry state at work now, with Boss as my only form of "entertainment." However, the company is throwing a holiday party, and it just so happens that it'll be held at the venue where I met Sketchy.

I thought the worse that could happen was running into him there, but the phone rang today and you'll never guess who called to hash out event details with me. The best part was when he did the verbal version of a double take. After asking me to repeat my name, recognition seemed to dawn on him in that split second of hesitation before he pointedly asked, "How are you?"

blown away

December started off with a freak windstorm that knocked out power for over 250,000 residences in LA. The night it happened was pretty exhilarating--the wind began as a howl that steadily turned into a roar outside, rattling the windows and distorting the sounds of passing helicopters and sirens that never seemed to be too far away...

I didn't realize just how strong it had been until I went outside the next morning and saw that two trunks had been snapped off the neighbor's tree and flung onto my driveway. Some less fortunate trees around my area even got uprooted. On my way to work, streets were lined with debris.

Going 24+ hours without power was kind of a cool, albeit inconvenient, experience. Not having internet access gave me a reason to do things I had been putting off, and then I actually went to bed early for the first time in years.

It's one of those things that you don't regret happened, but you also wouldn't want to do it again.

turkey weekend

My weekend was filled with the abundance of eating, shopping, and sleeping that comes with Thanksgiving as an American.

I was crazy enough to suggest going to the Moonlight Madness event at Citadel Outlets on Thanksgiving evening, hoping to get an early start on the insanity that is normally reserved for Black Friday. I left my house at 9:20pm to make it to the event which was starting at 10:00pm. While it didn't take that long to reach the freeway exit, it took an entire hour just to get out! By the time I found parking (which was relatively painless), it was 11:00pm. Then we had to line up just to get into the stores. Tired and defeated after two hours of not accomplishing anything, we hopped back in my car and made for home. It only took me 14 minutes to get back.

"Never again!" I had sworn to myself. Except...

...I slept for 3 hours and went on another mission, hellbent on satisfying my Black Friday shoplust. But finding good deals just wasn't in the cards this year. Everything I purchased was at regular price, with the exception of one ugly-with-potential sweater from H&M that only managed to reel me in because it was so cozy when I tried it on (I am powerless to soft things). Will try to post some pictures of my haul soon.

Saturday night featured a Thanksgiving potluck with friends, a dinner that's become an annual tradition spent at Greg's house where everyone has a jolly time getting fat and wasted. The highlights of the evening were two gloriously juicy, tender deep-fried turkeys:

The skin was the best part! Salty and greasy!

The lowlight of the evening was having to take care of Greg after he had waaay too much to drink, holding him upright after he began vomiting so that he wouldn't choke on it while out cold, only to end up getting it all over my arm. Thanks, friend!

healthy lungs

I sat in the break room drafting my resignation letter on my Blackberry in silence. Boss's shouting got louder and louder with every word I typed, and every decibel seemed to increase with as much remorse as I felt for every letter I punched in.

By the time I had finished, Boss was still going. The fact that Boss could still achieve those levels of sound even with a bad case of bronchitis was astounding. I'm surprised my coworker still had a face after that.

the northern capital

I wish I had been more diligent about documenting my visit with J. But there's not much to photograph when you're just gaming or shopping. As for the food...well, I fully intended to take pictures but by the time I remembered I had a camera, everything was either already half-eaten or in my/someone else's tummy.

Mountain of shaved ice covered in red bean, condensed milk, and fruit

An Orgasm during Happy Hour...*cough* one of many *cough*

Not an Apple advertisement. I just happened to like the pink glow cast by the adjacent screen.

Hot French onion soup topped with bread and melted cheese

A really juicy salmon fillet with a butter lemon sauce garnished with tomato wedges dipped in pesto

My Chocolate Devotion and J's Founder's Favorite in chocolate-dipped waffle cones

View of the city through a dirty window, from 80 stories up

J and I went to a cozy British(?) establishment for afternoon tea, but I don't have clear pictures of our sandwiches, scones, and pastries, so...have some pictures of the surrounding area instead.

All the lights were beginning to turn on by the time we finished.

It got dark fast and we promptly boarded the subway to escape the chilly evening air.

Maybe I'm crazy to say this as someone who revels in the weightless blanket of indoor heating once it drops below 60 outside, but I kind of miss the brisk 40s we had abroad (legitimately cold, I'd say). Or maybe...I just miss the warmth of being held in the midst of it.

wedges

When it comes to women's shoes, I feel like it's nigh impossible to look stylish without sacrificing comfort. Breaking in a new pair of heels is about as fun as accidentally hitting your boobs when they've just begun growing in. So yeah, a pair of fancy shoes needs to be pretty damn enticing to warrant such a sacrifice, especially because I'm normally not big on footwear anyway.

With that said, look what I found while browsing online:

I find wedges to be a pretty good compromise between looking put-together while still feeling relatively comfortable. They give you height with significantly less pain than heels over the same period of time, and I like the fact that they're much more stable than heels even when your feet do start to hurt.

These also come in a pretty shade of blue:

I was spared the anxiety of having to make a decision, however, because my size is no longer available in either color. It's the weirdest combination of disappointment and relief.

withdrawal

November has been one hectic month.

Having to work 11-hour days wasn't the worst thing I've ever had to do, except that made it really hard to get packed up in time for a red-eye flight across the world to see J. I managed (no thanks to Boss who kept me 2.5 hours past the time I meant to leave on the day of my flight).

Anyway, do I even have to tell you the trip was amazing? For nine fleetingly blissful days, our regimen consisted almost entirely of copious amounts of eating, shopping, sexing, and gaming. Then it was time for me to come back to LA, just when I had finally gotten over my jet lag.

Damn it, this is so hard.

southern sun, part 2

I had this song on loop for a while several months ago. These are the colors I picture when I hear it. Vibrant and uplifting, and reminds me of scenic summer drives through La Jolla.

&&&

Over the use of an ampersand on an invitation card:

"It looks horrible. It's not tasteful. Why can't you just use 'and'?"

"Do you want me to spell it out, a-n-d? Or do you just want me to change the font?" (It was Monotype Corsiva.)

"Yeah, 'and.' People aren't going to know what this is."

"Okay, so I'm going to spell it out then. A-n-d."

"No, just use '&.' This looks horrible."

"That is '&.' It only looks like that because of that font. So you want me to change the font?"

"Yeah, because it's not tasteful. When you look at it, do you think people will know what that is? Doesn't it look horrible?"

"No, it looks fine to me."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I mean, it depends who's looking at it. You're asking a really subjective question."

"You only think that because you haven't seen what is the best."

Really? Really? Talk to me again when you discover what fonts are. I mean, what exactly is the "best" font anyway? I would've been less offended if we had talked about what could've been a better font.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&!!!

southern sun, part 1

I'm going to see J in less than three weeks! So excited!

Okay, so the weather in LA has been really erratic. A couple weekends ago, we had some gorgeous sunsets and I managed to snap a few shots one day, before the colors faded into darkness.

Afterwards, a storm rolled in and wrapped us in wintery (for SoCal) 50-degree temperatures before jerking us into a 90-degree heatwave a few days later. Whiplash, anyone?

goal-setting

In today's episode of Life as the Office Bitch, Scarlet gets an earful of self righteous drivel about how she shouldn't befriend "losers" who will drag her down, how people don't have direction in life if they don't have goals, and how "scary" it is that some can go through life that way...which was provoked by responding to Boss with a tepid "okay" when Boss told her not to ignore a certain email. Even seemingly innocuous things like acknowledging an instruction is not immune to scrutiny.

For those 45 minutes, I sat there with an inward smirk, wondering what Boss would do if I revealed that I am, in fact, one of those damnably directionless "losers." Why, I would be terminated, surely? Then Boss would no longer have to worry about the likes of me defiling the work environment with my erroneous ways of thinking.

"I don't have the direction or the heart to keep working with you." I almost said it out loud.

Actually though, to say that I don't have any goals or direction right now is untrue...because we all know my #1 goal is to get the fuck away from Boss ASAP.

another player joins the game (but not really)

Everyday I get lunch for Boss at this place across the street from our building, and almost everyday I get helped by the same guy. When I show up, he already knows what I'm going to ask for even before I say it. He also seems to know that Boss is crazy and always gives me extra food to bring back (a sacrificial offering to appease the monster, methinks). Yup, he's pretty nice.

I started to suspect he might have a crush on me. However, I could identify no solid reasons for thinking this so I chalked it up to my imagination getting the better of me in the recent monotony of life at the office. I had dropped the issue until...


Food Dude: You're dressed different today.

S: Oh, because I'm more casual?

Food Dude: *pause* More pretty.

S: Aw haha, it's because I ran out of clothes.

Food Dude: You ran out of clothes? Don't tease me like that.

S: ...haha! I meant I ran out of suits to wear!

And then I ran out of there.


At least he's not creepy like DfmB. Apparently, flirtation is slightly more effective than the charge-in-with-a-boner approach.

spirited away

I really like the moods evoked by these pieces.

The Day We Left Earth by Grzegorz Rutkowski

Heart of the Forest by Tuomas Korpi

Endless Street by A. Rocha

They kind of take you away to another place, even if it's just for a short moment.

micromanagement

As if controlling every little step we take within the realm of work isn't already enough, Boss felt it was time to give me another push in the "right" direction during one of our meetings last week. What was the problem? My note-taking. Specifically, the lack of contrast between the important and less important instructions.

After Boss finished complaining that it was beyond understanding why we were given all the tools (e.g., highlighters, multicolored pens, sticky tabs, permission to breathe) to help us be efficient workers but don't use them, I explained that I have my own system that works for me (which doesn't include color-coding at every juncture, you twat).

But of course it was futile. I was told that while Boss respected the fact that I had my own system, Boss was merely trying to offer ways to improve it as it "may not be the best," adding that Boss was an efficient student back in the day so Boss must've been doing it right.

Never mind the condescension that was palpable in Boss's tone. Never mind that I could've rewritten my notes twice and finished all the tasks I was just given in the time it took for Boss to deliver this self-serving soliloquy. Next thing I knew, Boss was sitting there and staring at me expectantly. With little will left to endure another lecture provoked by dissension, I slowly uncapped my highlighter and grudgingly dotted the page with the tiniest of marks. And Boss looked on in smug satisfaction. Ugh.

A few days later, while I was jotting down another set of instructions, Boss brought up that I should be sent to a class to learn the "best" way to take notes.

Because we're all automatons that operate the same way, yes?

i hate salespeople

"See Scarlet, now that you worked on this [assignment], you will know what people are looking for [in an employee]."

Boss's attempts to "sell" my job to me is nothing new. In addition to comments like the above which allude to all the useful knowledge I'm gaining in this position, I am also constantly reminded how:

• grad schools are looking for people with 2-3 solid years of work experience ("You have to get through me first."),
  
• I'm so lucky to have a "mentor" like Boss because other managers wouldn't bother taking the time to explain tasks in such (excruciatingly long-winded and emotionally-charged) detail, and
  
• I'm getting such a bargain because at least I have a job AND I'm getting paid to learn while I'm at it.
  

But let's stop and consider for a moment. If you actually feel the need to convince me I have a great job, chances are it's probably not all that great...because if the product you're offering is as good as you say it is, shouldn't the quality speak for itself?